So, in my previous post, I talked about other people evaluating me, now I want to talk about self-evaluation, and this is going to be tough for me. Because, personally, I am insanely hard on myself. Even going back as far as I can remember, I have been hard on myself. I had to have a tutor in elementary school because I was so behind in my classes (in regards to the basic skills of reading, math, spelling, everything). And whenever she would ask me how my day went, I would tell her that it went horrible. She would be taken aback and ask me what went wrong and I would tell her something to the lines of “I stubbed my toe.” So, if one thing goes wrong, the whole day is bad. I am working on ending this thought process, but in all reality it is who I am.
In life, I can see the bad very well, but it takes a lot of energy (and I would say courage, as well) to look for the good in all situations. But, I think that this has its advantages. The biggest advantage is that I can, before I do anything, look at a event or group that I want to start and I can see all of the arguments that could be used against it, and then combat those arguments with arguments for it. For example, let’s say that I want to start a drama group at the school that I teach at. I am able to see that administration may give me a very hard time to get that group started, and I can see that the arguments for not starting a drama group are things such as: finance, space, students, etc. And with this knowledge of what the administration may say, I am able to come up with counterarguments.
But, now I have gotten off topic, evaluating myself is going to be hard for me. It’s going to be hard for me because I am hard on myself, so if I have a student who I haven’t been able to connect to, I am going to evaluate myself very hard. But, it is going to make me strive harder to connect to that student, and get to know them, get to know what happens in their mind. Find out what causes them to start misbehaving and find a remedy to help them.
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